Wednesday, June 24, 2009

26 Years and Counting...

Well. Next week I will be celebrating my 26th birthday. I use each year at birthday time to reflect on myself and set goals that I would like to accomplish in the upcoming year of my life. This year, as I zero in on my 26th year of life on this planet- I feel pretty good.

First and foremost- I have stayed away from alcohol for over a year. I officially quit drinking in March of 2008 and have not had ONE sip of alcohol since I declared my desire to fight the alcoholism that was blossoming in my daily life. With that, I also came off of my anti-anxiety medicine that I have been ever so dependent upon for the last 11 years of my life. Emotionally and psychologically, I feel better than I ever have before in my life. NICEEEEE.

I cannot however escape the memories that I have of feeling that I could never birth another child out of fear that there was NO WAY I could stop drinking for a full nine months. Kinda crazy, right? Well I am happy to say that fear no longer poisons my soul. Infact, I am currently carrying a little fetus in my womb and my husband, son and myself will welcome our new addition in January :)

I am not really sure what I have planned for the upcoming year but I have set a few goals for myself. For example, I hope to purchase my first home. I hope to birth a healthy baby in the most natural way I can despite the common trend to only have C-sections after you have already had one. I hope to attend adoptee rights day...despite my overwhelming anxiety of traveling and large crowds which I can no longer "xanax" away. And as always, I hope to be a good wife to my husband and a good mother to my children.

If I come up with more ideas and goals- I will post them. I also have some pictures to post once I get access to a computer rather than my blackberry. For now, I am desperately trying to beat this nausea and get through the last week and a half of my first trimester. I hope everyone is enjoying summer :)


Wednesday, June 17, 2009

A Pleasant Surprise...!!!

Well...I have totally sucked at blogging these days...or maybe I should say these MONTHS. Ever since I hit that rocky road, I somewhat distanced myself from my reunion with my birth family. I tried to explain the way I was feeling to my family and they couldn't have been LESS understanding which completely turned me off. So I've been chilling and enjoying some exciting things going on in my personal life. I will save those for another day though.

My biological family rarely makes any effort to contact me. For the past 3 and a half years, I am almost always the one to contact them. I can probably count the amount of times they have called me using both hands. Which brings me to my surprise!!! My mother and her husband called me at work a few days ago!!! I loved that!!! When I answered the phone, I heard a long "Rachelllllllll"...and I got SO excited! It was the best day ever!

But even better than the phone call itself is my mothers LAUGH. I LOVE it when she laughs. She has this pretty, genuine, deep laugh that will make almost anyone smile. Its one of my favorite things about her :) When she told me that her Cat was pregnant AGAIN...I responded by saying that the kitty was "CALIENTE"!!! A word in my country that means sexually frisky or hot. I learned that the hard way when I was in Chile and tried to use the word to describe the extreme heat beating on my body. I immediately got dirty looks and chuckles from my family who then proceeded to tell me to NEVER use that word unless I was calling myself a slut or whore. OOPS!!! Anyways, when I called the family cat "caliente" my dear mother broke out in a ROARING laugh...and I LOVED every second of it.

That was my pleasant surprise that has pretty much washed the sour taste out of my mouth that I had developed about my familia. Happy days to come?!? Let's hope so!!!

Hope everyone is well in this blogging world...I plan to be posting a little more regularly :) Until next time, Peace Out my amigos!!!