Ninoska Andrea = Rachel Ellen

Dear Birth Mother...Please Hit "Reply"

2009-09-05T09:08:00.003-04:00

If you have read through this blog, you probably know that I searched and found my biological mother using the ever so popular social networking website MYSPACE. Over the past three and a half years, I have used facebook to track down all of my biological siblings. Most recently, I found the last one...my 19 year old sister Cathy was easily found by simply typing her first and last names into the facebook search engine.

I feel rather blessed that I have been able to reunite with everyone and keep in touch with them by just signing online. Interestingly enough, many adoptees have used these websites to do the same thing. My brother sent me THIS article a few weeks ago. I, of course enjoyed it and decided to post it on my blog for those who may be interested.

I hope everyone has a relaxing and safe labor day weekend.
PEACE!!!!

SUPPORT OUR TROOPS, POR FAVOR!!!!

2009-08-04T17:30:00.003-04:00

Well, there is a lot to be said about the brave American troops that provide safety to our families each and every single day. I am not sure one can understand the sacrifices they make to fight for our nation. However, I encourage you all to check out THIS website and try.

A local Maryland hero was killed in action in late February, leaving behind his pregnant wife and 2 year old son. His beautiful wife has shown a tremendous amount of courage in the months since her husbands passing and is on a current mission to remember ALL the American troops lost during the wars on terrorism.

The mission is simple. She is holding a 5k race in memory of her fallen husband. En route to the race, she will be displaying American Flags...ONE flag for each member of our services who has died at war. Not only will the 5 THOUSAND flags on display help show just HOW many lives have been lost BUT the proceeds will be donated to help her children and other military families in need. SO, help her on her mission by supporting her cause...PLEASE? Only 5 bucks for each flag. And while I know money is tight for everyone these days, if you just give up ONE drink at the bar or ONE pack of cigarettes, you can help support our troops.

Just remember...while you are sitting at home spending time with your spouse, children, or just with yourself- someone is dying in the line of duty...they were fighting for YOU. Please visit www.bubbasbellyrun.com for more information.

PEACEEEEE.

Philly Demonstration Day!!!

2009-07-21T09:19:00.000-04:00

Today is the day that many brave adoptee's, birth mothers and their support systems will be protesting adoptee rights in Philadelphia, PA. I am so proud of all the brave souls that have made the journey to Philly this week!!!

As much as I had hoped to be there, I did not make the trip. I went on our usual family vacation to the beach for 12 days and have had to miss additional work days to attend my doctor appointments for my pregnancy (which is going well- thank God). All my missed days have taken up my paid vacation for the year and considering I will stop working in 5 months, I couldn't afford to miss more work this week and attend. I have been thinking about all those that are there so much...I am there in spirit for sure.

Adoptee rights are VERY important to me. I strongly believe that ALL humans should be granted the same right to their original identity and I find it rather disturbing that adoptees do not have the same rights as those who have remained with their birth families. SO, let's all hope the demonstrators get something accomplished today and during the remainder of the week. GOOD LUCK!!!

PEACE for all...

26 Years and Counting...

2009-06-24T10:19:00.000-04:00

Well. Next week I will be celebrating my 26th birthday. I use each year at birthday time to reflect on myself and set goals that I would like to accomplish in the upcoming year of my life. This year, as I zero in on my 26th year of life on this planet- I feel pretty good.

First and foremost- I have stayed away from alcohol for over a year. I officially quit drinking in March of 2008 and have not had ONE sip of alcohol since I declared my desire to fight the alcoholism that was blossoming in my daily life. With that, I also came off of my anti-anxiety medicine that I have been ever so dependent upon for the last 11 years of my life. Emotionally and psychologically, I feel better than I ever have before in my life. NICEEEEE.

I cannot however escape the memories that I have of feeling that I could never birth another child out of fear that there was NO WAY I could stop drinking for a full nine months. Kinda crazy, right? Well I am happy to say that fear no longer poisons my soul. Infact, I am currently carrying a little fetus in my womb and my husband, son and myself will welcome our new addition in January :)

I am not really sure what I have planned for the upcoming year but I have set a few goals for myself. For example, I hope to purchase my first home. I hope to birth a healthy baby in the most natural way I can despite the common trend to only have C-sections after you have already had one. I hope to attend adoptee rights day...despite my overwhelming anxiety of traveling and large crowds which I can no longer "xanax" away. And as always, I hope to be a good wife to my husband and a good mother to my children.

If I come up with more ideas and goals- I will post them. I also have some pictures to post once I get access to a computer rather than my blackberry. For now, I am desperately trying to beat this nausea and get through the last week and a half of my first trimester. I hope everyone is enjoying summer :)

PEACEEEEEEE...

A Pleasant Surprise...!!!

2009-06-17T11:52:00.000-04:00

Well...I have totally sucked at blogging these days...or maybe I should say these MONTHS. Ever since I hit that rocky road, I somewhat distanced myself from my reunion with my birth family. I tried to explain the way I was feeling to my family and they couldn't have been LESS understanding which completely turned me off. So I've been chilling and enjoying some exciting things going on in my personal life. I will save those for another day though.

My biological family rarely makes any effort to contact me. For the past 3 and a half years, I am almost always the one to contact them. I can probably count the amount of times they have called me using both hands. Which brings me to my surprise!!! My mother and her husband called me at work a few days ago!!! I loved that!!! When I answered the phone, I heard a long "Rachelllllllll"...and I got SO excited! It was the best day ever!

But even better than the phone call itself is my mothers LAUGH. I LOVE it when she laughs. She has this pretty, genuine, deep laugh that will make almost anyone smile. Its one of my favorite things about her :) When she told me that her Cat was pregnant AGAIN...I responded by saying that the kitty was "CALIENTE"!!! A word in my country that means sexually frisky or hot. I learned that the hard way when I was in Chile and tried to use the word to describe the extreme heat beating on my body. I immediately got dirty looks and chuckles from my family who then proceeded to tell me to NEVER use that word unless I was calling myself a slut or whore. OOPS!!! Anyways, when I called the family cat "caliente" my dear mother broke out in a ROARING laugh...and I LOVED every second of it.

That was my pleasant surprise that has pretty much washed the sour taste out of my mouth that I had developed about my familia. Happy days to come?!? Let's hope so!!!

Hope everyone is well in this blogging world...I plan to be posting a little more regularly :) Until next time, Peace Out my amigos!!!

KNOW YOUR RIGHTS!!!!

2009-05-02T11:44:00.003-04:00

So, I've been wanting to blog about this for a while and I am finally getting around to it. There is an adoptee rights demonstration being held in Philadelphia, PA on July 21st of this year. I will be attending with some of my family and joining my friends who have introduced me to the event...(Hi JIM!!! THANK YOU Jim!!!)

For anyone who does not know, adopteed people do not have rights to their original birth certificates, often making our enterance to this world somewhat questionable. I should mention that FEW states DO allow adoptees to have a copy but still, just because you're adopted doesn't mean you should not have the REAL thing. While this may not seem like a big deal to some, I highly DOUBT you would dispose of YOUR childs birth certificate. If birth certificates weren't important, people wouldn't hold on to them.

SOOOO, a group of adopted people and their loved ones will be getting together to protest the laws that prevent adoptees from having access to their identity. While a change in law would not help me obtain my birth certificate (the international adoption system is FAR more jacked up) I am excited about participating so that my friends and fellow American people may one day have access to theirs.

I will be talking more about the demonstration and why it is important to me over the next few months. In the mean while, if you would like more information please click HERE and check it out.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.
PEACEEEEEE.

Gaby takes on NYC...

2009-04-25T10:58:00.002-04:00

Remember a few months ago when I posted an entry about my girl Gabriella who helped make my adoption reunion possible? WELL, Gaby is coming to the US!!! She is taking on NYC and I will have the pleasure of meeting her there in early May...she's the beauty pictured above :)

I am leaving for Brooklyn in a couple weeks for my brothers NYU Graduation (YEAAAAHHH AARON!!!). I am so proud of him and so glad that I will get to finally meet Gaby in person during my trip to celebrate my bro.

It's ROASTING HOT here in D.C. this weekend. Excuse me while I step outside for the next couple days to soak up the sun...and maybe shed a few pounds that I have put on this winter?!?!

PEACEEEEEEEEEE.

White Mothers, Black Sons...

2009-04-22T21:00:00.005-04:00

I am always on NPR fishing around for interesting casts. I am especially interested in listening to things regarding biracial families and transracial adoptions. Obviously I am interested in this stuff for a few reasons. #1- Because I was adopted transracially into a white family, making me a transracial adoptee and #2- Because I married an Ethiopian man, making my precious little family biracial.

I came across a cast the other day that is originally from May 15, 2007. It had a great quote in it from Audrey Lord that says "Difference is the dialectic that sparks the imagination." I loved that. While I used to feel embarassed of being "different", I have grown to appreciate my differences for they make me unique and they have made me who I am.

Care to listen? GO AHEAD...check it outttt...!!!

Isn't NPR radio GREAT?!?!

PEACE!!!

CHILE...I ADORE YOU!!!!

2009-04-22T20:25:00.003-04:00

I absolutely adore my country!!! As a child, I would brag about being from Chile because I just loved the country so much (despite the fact I knew NOTHING about it). As I have grown older, my love for my country has grown fonder. I think every part about it is incredibly beautiful. The people...the places...the land...the PLANTS!!! Today is EARTH DAY!!! And because I think Chile is the most beautiful place on Earth, I have decided to post this simple picture of my countrys national flower. It is called the Copihue :) Isn't it beautiful?!?! Did I mention I am adding this beauty to my massive ever-expanding tattoo on my back?!?! I will post pictures when it is complete. LOVE THE EARTH. LOVE THIS FLOWER. LOVE IT ALL.

Happy Earth Day to all!!!
Peaceeeee.

DRAMA in Adoption Reunions...

2009-04-15T08:51:00.002-04:00

Ahhh...I haven't been blogging these past few weeks because I've hit a rough patch in my reunion. But I figured I may as well share it.

My biological mother is a rather selfish woman. Since finding her over three years ago- she has constantly informed me she does not want me talking to ANY of my siblings, cousins or Aunts and Uncles. She always tells me that I "belong to HER and NOBODY else." While I've tried to explain to her that I have the right to know all of my family, she doesn't seem to care.

To make a long story short- she is VERY displeased that I found my brother on facebook. She's been having her friends write me nasty emails and she called my cousin to curse him out last night- telling him to "pass the message to Rachel." Why THANKS, Mom!!!

Life has speed bumps and road blocks and I seem to have hit the first major one in my adoption reunion. I hope it smoothes out sooner rather than later!

Peace.

4 outta 5 !!!

2009-03-23T02:55:00.003-04:00

WHOA! It's been a little while since I last updated this thing. I've been thinking I need to work on it but I am rather...well...lazy. If only you all could see my "draft" section of this blog- a whole bunch of unfinished work. Typical Rachel style. I will get to it one day.

In the mean while, I can inform you all of some very exciting news...I found my one and only biological brother! Poor guy is sandwiched in age by his four sisters BUT he doesn't seem to mind.

When I went to Chile, I reunited with two of my sisters...the three of us are pictured above. It was one of those bittersweet feelings because I knew that there were still two of us missing...it didnt feel complete. It made me sad because I wanted so bad to meet my brother and other sister however, my mom has been estranged from them for their whole lives and she said she had no way of contacting them. In all reality, for whatever the reason, she doesn't WANT to contact them...they are easily accessable via facebook (gotta love the internet networking).

SOOO, after attempting various spellings of his surname, I hit the jackpot and located by bro! I've been so excited because 4 out of the 5 Sarria children are in contact now. SUCCESS! My brother is also in contact with the one sister that I have never met so chances are, I will know her shortly :)

The only odd thing is that I have been having these weirdo dreams where I picture all 5 of us standing arm in arm for a picture by the Ocean. When I awake, I find myself in my bedroom tens of thousands of miles away and cry uncontrollably :( It BLOWS!

Well regardless...4 outta 5 isn't bad and while being the ONLY sibling in America kinda stinks, I know that even the thinnest of connections is better than being alone.

Yall have a GOOD one.
PEACE.

LOVE...LIFE...FORGIVENESS...

2009-02-20T10:16:00.002-05:00

Ahhhh...I got the most refreshing email today from one of my girlfriends. It made me smile, it made me feel so happy to have her in my life and it made me feel proud of myself.

3 years ago I began the hunt for my biological mother. I found her fairly quickly with the help of a stranger...that same stranger has remained in my life and it is her email that brought me to (happy) tears this morning.

I found Gaby on MySpace...a social networking internet site that I had joined in hopes of finding my biological sister in Chile (its pretty popular amongst people my age and my sister is 2 years older than myself). Although entering my sisters name turned no results, I saw that the Chilean people were all over MySpace! When I came across Gaby, who was listed as a female, "in a relationship", and her occupation was a translator...I knew I hit the jackpot! Her smile was beautiful- her hair was long and beautiful- she appeared harmless and I took my shot.

My email to Gaby was short. I told her I was an adoptee in search of my biological mother and sister. I explained that I had their names but that I needed help getting phone numbers and addresses of people in Chile who matched their identity. I explained my Spanish was limited to "conversational" and from the bottom of my heart- I asked for her help.

She responded a few weeks later...apologizing for the delay in her response and saying that she would help me with whatever I needed. Apologize?!? Are you kidding?! I was just thankful she REPLIED...but her unnecessary apology and willingness to help me showed me the pureness of her heart. I responded with great gratitude and with the names of my mother and sister. She sent me 3 telephone numbers and an address two days later. Gaby had proven my instinct to be correct...she was a gift from God.

Because my moms contact numbers were all disconnected- I had to hire and pay an intermediate to go to assist me further BUT Gaby stayed by my side. She translated multiple letters from English to Spanish for me to give to the intermediate when she went knocking on my moms door. She sat on conference calls with me for hours to translate my mothers and my first few conversations- back and forth. From my english to her spanish and vice-versa.

Gaby never asked me for a penny...she graciously accepted all my thank you's and told me it was "no problem", that I could call her whenever I needed anything. We email eachother each month...we talk on occaision...we post messages to eachother on our MySpace and Facebook pages. She's an incredible woman...an incredible friend...I tell her all the time that she is indeed, an incredible human being.

My email from her came as a surprise this morning. It was an email with "thank you" in the subject. Thanking ME?! Thanking me for WHAT?!...I thought and I opened the email as I continued to read. Gaby was thanking me for the lessons I had taught her about life, love and forgiveness. Lessons I sure did NOT know she learned through me.

I had never talked to her about any of these things, she's older and seemingly wiser than me. I couldn't figure it out. As I read through the email tears streamed down my face...I hit the last line, I began to cry..."being a part of your experience has taught me some of the most valuable lessons on life, love and forgiveness- thank you for allowing me to be a part of this."

I've been thinking about it all morning. I didn't really teach Gaby anything but I did realize something. I realized that as we walked together through my adoption reunion...we learned together. Together we watched lives changing, we watched two cultures emerging, we witnessed and were a part of the power of love, and we have both witnessed the delivery and acceptance of one of the most INSANE kinds of an apology in the world..."I am sorry for giving you up- I am sorry I didn't look for you", my mother cried.
..."its okay Mama, I found you and we won't be apart again."

TO LOVE...LIFE...AND FORGIVENESS...may you all encounter moments of clarity when dealing with the three :)
PEACEEEEE.

Stir it up...

2009-02-19T18:51:00.000-05:00

Reuniting with my biological family has taken more out of me then I ever could have imagined. Seriously, it's so wack. I've spent countless hours crying about the losses that I never allowed myself to mourn...I've spent raging nights, screaming at the sky and digging my fingernails in to my scalp as I allowed my anger about being adopted to finally soak throughout my soul.

To say I've sorted through some emotions over the last 4 or 5 weeks doesn't do justice to what I've been going through. I've sorted through some SHIT. I literally feel like I've traveled to heaven...to hell...to the freakin' twilight zone...and back.

...well, wait- I'm not "back" yet...lets just say, I am on the "mend"..."a project in repair." Repairing always seems to require discussion and discussion with depth- you know, the kind with real substance? The kind that people love to run from? "Just move on"..."get over it"...

NO! I won't! I will HEAL my soul and drain the rage it has soaked up. I will nurse my wounds until they HEAL. "Bandaids" don't do it for me.

Moving on IS important but the whole "just drop it"/ ignore it thing is for bitches. So, here I am...fighting my way through my biggest fears...fighting my way through the most painful therapy sessions I've ever experienced in my life...fighting my way through life to find MYSELF.

...I AM BATTLING MY ADOPTEDNESS and with lots of hard work, I BELIEVE that I will conquer all the insecurities and difficulties that being adopted has brought to my life.

That's all for now...I got a family to feed.
PEACE.

The Man In The Glass...

2009-02-12T15:18:00.001-05:00

When you get what you want in your struggle for self,
And the world makes you king for a day...
Just go to a mirror and look at YOURSELF,
And see what THAT man has to say.

For it isn't your father or mother or wife,
Whose judgment upon you must pass;
The fellow whose verdict counts most in YOUR life...
Is the one staring back from the glass.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get "pats on the back" as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartache and tears...
...if you have cheated the man in the glass.

This poem was written by an adoptee who later went on to take his own life :(

I love this poem and I read it often. It always reminds me to stay true to myself-- no matter WHAT peoples opinions may be. This is MY life and I smile when I see my reflection in the mirror :)

So...What does YOUR mirror have to say about YOU??? Do you appreciate your strengths and weaknesses???...Or are you still caught up in cheating yourself while attempting to fool the world???

BEEEE yourself.
Peace!!!!!!

P.S. If you like the image I chose for this post please click and visit the photographers site HERE.

"SOUL- LOW..."

2009-02-02T17:15:00.003-05:00

"Every day we ride the elevator...no matter where it takes ya, up or down...DON'T LET IT GET YA DOWN..."

I am feeling so low. SOLO. SOUL = LOW. Anyway ya wanna put it...it's how I am feeling these days. I think I MAY post Nikka Costa songs and videos all week long. It's quite possible. When my lonely soul is feeling down, HER lyrics and music NEVER fail to keep my spirit FLYING HIGH.

FLY HIGH SPIRIT...FLYYYYYY HIGH.
PEACE OUT.

P.S. If you ever decide you like what you're listen to, GO HERE and download her music :)

When PIGS Fly...

2009-01-31T10:53:00.003-05:00

I am sure you all have heard the phrase..."when pigs can fly." People always want to doubt what we believe in our dreams.

You gotta DREAM it and BELIEVE it--- in order for it to come true...and please know that nobody will believe in YOUR dreams if YOU don't believe in YOU!!!!!!!

I collect Piggies...I have been collecting them for years. I think I started when I was young because I had learned about Chinese New Year and loved that I was born in the year of the BOAR. My best friends mother collected pigs too...when she died in a tragic car accident, I took over her some of her collection, making my HOG collecting even more important to me.

I own a sick amount of pig collectables. They surround my whole house AND are a big part of my life. I JUST received a new pig as a gift for my entire family! THIS woman makes flying pigs to remind people to "live your dreams, no matter how impossible they may seem." She created a Presidental Pig to mark Obama's inauguration and my mom got us one. NICE.

I am LOVING the local pig maker.

GO and get YOUR pig today.

PEACE.

EVERY DAY MATTERS...

2009-01-29T16:21:00.000-05:00

Some days I sit here at my work desk and wonder what I am going to do with my life. I do not know and I do not mind not knowing.

Some days I think that I've become so used to the "unknown" that planned activities or planned situations seem rather strange to me.

Some days I just get thrown off track and I don't know WHAT to even THINK...let alone know what to DO. I always enjoy finding my way back to my track and with every unknown adventure, I become more comfortable with myself :)

While SOME days are always going to be harder than others- I can assure you all that EVERY day always matters ;)

Yall have a GOOD one.
Make EVERY DAY MATTER.
Peaceeeee!

"I NEED MORE LOVEEEE..."

2009-01-21T14:02:00.002-05:00

I am almost 3 years into my reunion. February marks the beginning of round THREE. The month always seems to bring the same questions...Do the days ever get easier? Do my questions ever get answered? Will I ever find the missing piece? Will I ever be content without it? I have SO much to say these days but I don't have the energy to express it.

So, until I do- I shall express AWESOMENESS with two AWESOME songs.

I NEED MORE LOVE.
GIMME SHELTER.
Rock Out. Rock On.
PEACE.

Appreciating DC...

2009-01-19T21:14:00.002-05:00

At this time tomorrow, Barack Obama will be our President. I often forget to be thankful that I live in such an incredible area. It's a cool time to be in DC...

Peaceeeee.

We ALL look up at the SAME sky...

2009-01-11T15:34:00.002-05:00

As a little girl I found so much comfort in the fact that SOMEWHERE in the world my biological family was looking up at the same sky as me. LOVED THAT.

I spent nights crying and reaching for the stars...I actually still do. I spent nights sitting by my window- singing (not very well, may I add) the songs from Annie and other lonely childrens movies.

I've shared this story with my biological mother many times over the past three years but when I was in Chile, I felt the need to share it with everyone. I let them ALL know I thought of them every single time I looked up...AND THEN...they emailed me THIS picture...

No matter where you are in the world...all ya gotta do is look up. No matter the miles that seperate us, we all look up to the same sky :)

LOVE IT. Don't you?!?! Who couldn't?!

Peace.

BLOG ON, bloggers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-01-07T19:31:00.005-05:00

CHECK IT...my brotha's girlfriend sent me this article. The Vietnamese government is trying to put a hault to truth telling bloggers in order to protect their reputation. Well, they are putting restrictions on bloggers...telling them what they can and cannot discuss.

Can't say I know much about the topic but I think bloggers all around the world should BLOG ON!!!

What's the purpose in writing when someone else is telling you how to tell YOUR story?!?!

Ahhhhh, have I mentioned...VIVE COMO QUIERES?!?!?!

VIVE COMO QUIERES...

2009-01-06T10:00:00.003-05:00

"LIVE HOW YOU WANT."

I prefer to be TRUE to myself, even at the expense of incurring the ridicule of others...VIVE COMO QUIERES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Peace.

Looking Over 2008...

2009-01-05T01:49:00.004-05:00

Sitting at the top of Santa Lucia in Chile...sitting at the top of a volcano and overlooking THIS beauty....found myself reflecting on the year and all the days that had passed in 2008.

2008 was a year of CHANGE...changes that brought smiles and changes that brought tears. But I know change does not come without fire- when the smoke settles, you realize, you are right where you are supposed to be.

From changed relationships, to changes in habits (365 days without drinking...and still counting)....I think the smiles will always be remembered and I think the tears were for all the right reasons.

Could I be in love with the way 2008 turned out?!?!?

GIVE Something Greater...?!?!?!

2009-01-04T08:13:00.004-05:00

I have always viewed MOST American People as selfish and greedy. They want more and more for themselves, often owning 4 or 5 vehicles with only two eligible drivers in the home. They talk about nothing but their possessions...how they have "everything" and don't "need anything from anyone." Well, if you and your family indeed have EVERYTHING--- give something to someone who does not.

For only $250.00 you can pay for ALL the expenses to repair a childs cleft lip or pallet. Samson, Dominick and I have been devoted supporters of Smile Train...an organization that helps give "life" a whole new meaning to children who have NOTHING. Not even a smile :(

For the first year, I changed our rules. Typically, Dominick gets ONE present for Hanukah, ONE present for his birthday and ONE present for Christmas...Samson and I do not spend a penny on one another and we donate money to repair cleft pallets instead of going over board on gifts for our son and family members.

But this year was different. Over the past 3 years that I have been speaking to my biological mom in Chile, we have talked about EVERYTHING. From her problematic family to her self- distructive lifestyle. I've never seen her smile and often asked why. She explained she had no teeth on the top of her mouth and that the bottom ones were in bad shape.

SOOOOO, while in Chile- I took my mom to multiple dentists. A radiograph clinic to get a full mouth series of X-RAYS for her...the periodontist to treat her severe gum disease...the dentist to extract her rotten teeth...and a dental lab to build her some prostetics/dentures.

Dominick still received his 3 gifts, one for each respected holiday/occaision. But this year, he got a lecture on how our extra money will help Abuelita smile again. Samson and I paid for all her dental work while we were in Chile. Her new SMILE should be complete within a year :) My mom and I are pictured below in the dentist office.

To new SMILES...and the beauty of giving BACK. Along with a promise that we didnt forget all the little children from Smile Train. We promise to give smiles to you kids too!!!

PEACE.

To New Beginings...

2009-01-01T14:07:00.001-05:00

Since I do not drink alcohol, I am toasting some FANTA to 2009.

To new relationships, new ideas, new peace, new comfort, new friends...to a good and much brighter NEW YEAR for all.

Happy New Year! Feliz ano nuevo!

Holla Back.... :(

2008-12-30T10:34:00.002-05:00

Leaving Chile....Leaving the place I love so much...Leaving HOME to return home. Half my heart remains here...in my country....with my family...in THIS city that I have loved all my life but have now grown to love even more.

Cruisin' the Calles...

2008-12-30T10:24:00.002-05:00

Ever since Aaron got to Chile, we have been cruisin' the calles (streets)...I love the fact that my brother is so adventurous and is always in search of a NEW adventure. He has incredible instinct and always seems to know the cool places to go. His presence in Chile has enriched my trip even more --- as Samson and I would not have adventured out to HALF the places that Aaron has influenced us to go.

Scope Out San Cristobal....

2008-12-30T08:46:00.011-05:00

The Virgen Mary sits at the tippy top of San Cristobal. This is a very religous site for the Chilean people. They often hike the mountain to walk for the Virgen. There are 4 ways to access the Virgen...#1- walk the rough rocky mountain...#2- ride in a cable car...#3- drive....#4- ride a train.

We took a cab a little bit up the mountain...we then began our hike to the top. To be honest, I didnt make it to the top. I decided to stop about 5 minutes shy of the final descend to the Virgen. My feet were blistered and bleeding from the hike thus far, and the final descend was about 150 hand carved steps. I sat with my mom and little sister as my husband and my moms husband hiked to the top. They got some pictures of Samson right under the Virgen and Samson took pictures of the notes that people leave by her side. ( In Judiasm, which is my religion- people worship the Western Wall, the way the Chileans do the Virgen).

Anyways, check out the flicks and as my entire Chilean family always says..."may the Virgen always protect you..."

PEACE.

Santiago Skyline....

2008-12-22T17:46:00.006-05:00

Check these flicks of the Santiago Skyline...its a little smoggy but the smog has started to clear up since we have been here.

The smog stays trapped in the city due to the mountains that surround this darling little city. LOVE being amongst my people...LOVE being in the place where I was born...and yes, I even LOVE being trapped in the SMOG!!!

"P" is for PROVIDENCIA.....

2008-12-22T17:31:00.002-05:00

Aaron has arrived!!! We spent the day walking around Providencia...the community where he was born. Its reallyyyy beautiful here, and there is also a longggg line to use the computer. I will be back soon ;)

A Day In Maipu...

2008-12-19T13:29:00.006-05:00

Samson and I spent Wednesday in Maipu with my Aunt, Uncle, big sister and cousins. It was really beautiful!!!! Below are some pictures of the temple of maipu...i will write more about its history when i have the time. Unfortunately the internet here is very slow and very expensive.

Me and My Mama....

2008-12-19T13:00:00.004-05:00

Ive spent almost every single day with my mom since I have arrived. Sometimes I climb up in her lap like a little baby because I never had the chance to do it as a little girl.

Despite the fact I weigh 125 pounds, my mom loves having me in her lap...below are a few pictures of us. My little sister is in the last one too...she HATES pictures but Samson has caught a few shots of her! We are having a great time...will post more in a little ;)

SISTERS!!!!!!!!

2008-12-15T13:02:00.004-05:00

Last night we went to my mothers house. They had a HUGE BBQ for us and all the family was there. My big sister Scarlett and I found we had LOTS in common...including identical hands, fingers, feet, and toes. We have similar eating habits- sometimes we eat ALL day and sometimes we go days without eating.

My little sister was reallyyyyy nervous and shy...she spent most of the evening in the house. My sister Scarlett and I are pictured above. We shared a piece of chicken for dinner and held hands as we sat on my mothers patio. And below that, is my shy sister Silvia. She had a BALL playing with my digital camera :)

First HUGS....

2008-12-15T12:47:00.005-05:00

I made it!!! Despite a MASSIVE panic attack on the LONG flight, I arrived in Chile and ran safely into my Mothers arms for the first time in 25 years...below are pictures of this emotional event. And a group shot of my entire family at the airport...they were all waiting for us :)

When Adoptees Know Their Birth Mother...

2008-12-09T13:28:00.002-05:00

Like listening to NPR? I do.

Found this story while I was sitting here with my DAWG and listening to the internet radio on my lunch break. It's about how open adoptions (or open-ness within adoptions) can help lead to healthier relationships for all members of the "adoption triad." Take a listen if you would like.

I suppose I should link you all to information about the Adoption Triad since I have mentioned it and some people may not know what I am talking about. Unfortunately as I mentioned, I am on my lunch break and do not have the time now. I will be back tomorrow to provide info. on that.

Hope you all are having a GOOD one. Chaoooo!

Gimme Shelter...

2008-12-09T08:44:00.000-05:00

I've been having these crying spells. I can't seem to shelter my lonely little soul... can't seem to soothe my fragile little spirit. My emotions are running WILD- I leave in 3 days :)

I've learned to post from my blackberry, which makes me really excited!!! I don't have a computer at work but if I can master this mobile uploading madness, I will soon be posting entries AND pictures from this useful device. FUN!

That's all for now. More later...PEACE.

My travel companion is my companion for LIFE...

2008-12-06T09:26:00.007-05:00

I could say a million things about my wonderful husband. He will be traveling with me for the entire duration of my reunion and we made a vow to one another almost 3 years ago to travel together through LIFE.

Of course, we have our issues...we have been involved with eachother for 11 years, which brings lots of GOOD history and naturally some BAD history but we are determined to make our marriage work. Instead of rambling on about my travel companion and my companion for LIFE, I have decided to post pictures of our life together thus far. The videos are the songs we danced to at our wedding...the lyrics describe us best :)

I love you babe...thanks for loving me the way you do.

"And a little child shall lead them..."

2008-12-05T16:41:00.002-05:00

I read only one blog on a daily basis. I don't have much time for blogging but I enjoy this blog and have found it's the only blog thus far, that I consistantly seem to enjoy reading. She writes about everything...but I particularly LOVE her knowledge on international adoption.

Her most recent blog was about transracial adoptions...LOVE IT and MUST talk about it!

I have mentioned before in my blog the pain of having my racial identity supressed by my parents. Particularly my father who probably secretly hates me for being so relentless in discovering my racial identity and for demanding that he NOT refer to me as "white."

WELL, I am not the only one hurting...

As, THIS article points out, "for a transracial adoptee, race is like another missing parent. In fact, transracial adoptees hunger for heritage at a younger age than their white counterparts, searching for their parents on average five years earlier (25.8 vs 31.2), and looking not just for parents but also for a racial identity."

And check THIS article for some informative bits of knowledge on how transracial adoptions are viewed by adoptees, as well as professionals who have been reseacrhing the topic for decades.

Ohhhh, I am SUPER happy that the one blog I follow happens to be managed by a social worker who is always researching this topic.

When reading the information she provided (and that I have now linked YOU all to check out) I came across the biblical quote "and a little child shall lead them" Isaiah 11:6. It made me burst into tears. I want to be the little child that leads her parents into recognizing the importance of finding racial and cultural identity. I don't want them to be mad at me but I want them to investigate exactly how CRUCIAL this is.

I cried like a baby again when I finished watching a video Laura had posted...the final sentence of the video read- "Possessions in my hands will never be as valuable as peace in my heart."

By the way...Have I mentioned I leave to reunite with my family in Chile in 7 days?!?!?

PEACE OUT my friends :)

ONE week!!!

2008-12-04T18:46:00.000-05:00

I am leaving next week...You gotta be kidding me. The emotions are UNREAL. To be honest, the emotions are painful.

Once, one of my sister-in-laws told me that I "wouldn't need to see a psychiatrist if I was adopted into a black family"...she claimed they (the black adopters) would have told me to "stop crying and just go to school" if being adopted was bothering me.

Whatever.

Being adopted is not the easiest thing to deal with. Although I refuse to fall victim to anything, I must say that what I am feeling right now is NOT something that would change if I was adopted by black people or any other race for that matter.

Ignorance bothers me. Badly.

More later ;) GOODNIGHT!!!

COOL NEWS!!!

2008-11-29T16:24:00.002-05:00

Grace and Arnold opened a museum in Ruidoso, New Mexico!!! Check out all that The Ruidoso River Museum has to offer here. ALL the hard work and effort it took to build this creation is probably one of the main reasons Mr. Duke and Grace are always so busy.

I am so proud of these two!!! This is an incredible accomplishment for two incredible people :)

Hope everyone had a GREAT Thanksgiving, Congratulations to Grace and Arnold Duke and HAIL TO THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS!!!!

Peace....

Memories Don't Live Like People Do...

2008-11-26T01:04:00.010-05:00

A year ago, almost to the EXACT hour that I am posting this blog...The Washington Redskins safety, Sean Taylor, was shot by intruders in his Miami home. He lost his life the following day.

Washington, DC went into shock. Fans rolled up to Redskins Park and our home stadium, FED EX FIELD. They were holding candles...they were crying...they sat outside ALL NIGHT LONG, praying for a football player they had grown to love.

This post is a TRIBUTE to #21...may you be resting peacefully with the angels above...may you know that your presence is missed and that not a day, month or year will go by when you are not remembered.

Memories do not live like people do...but it is us, the living, that the deceased live through.

To read a great article on Sean Taylor and the way his team is feeling a year after his death click here.

To donate to a memorial fund to benefit Taylor's young daughter that he left behind, click here.

SEAN MICHAEL MAURICE TAYLOR

April 1, 1983 - November 27, 2007

So Others Might Eat...

2008-11-25T23:26:00.009-05:00

I am SUPER appreciative that my family has always enforced the importance of giving back to my community and to those who have less than myself, even if I don't have a lot.

My daddy taught me at an early age that it was better to do a million favors for someone (and get nothing in return), than it was to be the one asking for favors. Through serving the homeless people (of our nations capital) I was taught by my mother, that a little bit of help can bring BIG smiles to typically sad faces.

I was taught by my Grandparents to never be greedy and to always put something aside for those that live differently than myself. They taught me the importance of GIVING. And I was taught by my ever-loving Bubbie to always be kind because you just never know what people are dealing with and you get NOTHING out of being grouchy. I am hoping to pass all these values on to my son and any future children I may have. I feel it is essential to start EARLY and lead by example. Don't talk about it and send checks- just get out there and DO IT.

With no further said, Dominick and I will be participating in our second fund raising 5K race this year. Yup, I said it- my 5 year old runs (walks) 3.25 mile races with me to benefit those less fortunate or to fight diseases that have touched our lives.

Since it is Thanksgiving, I will be emphasizing to Dominick how thankful we are for having a HOME and FAMILY to eat with and celebrate with...and for THAT reason we are running (Dominick = walking) in the 7th annual S.O.M.E. Turkey Trot!!!!

S.O.M.E. stands for "So Others Might Eat" and this non-profit organization has been serving the homeless community of Washington, DC for years. They provide food, clothing, healthcare, and plenty other services. The TURKEY TROT is a race to raise money to feed the homeless a GOOD Thanksgiving dinner in a warm shelter. Have you ever stopped to think about those that have no place to go on Thanksgiving day?

If you have it in your heart to help the homeless...trot off a few calories with Dominick and I on Thanksgiving Day before you stuff your face with oodles of calories later at your hearty feast. Or if attending an 8:30 am race does not appeal to you, you could always make a small donation and sponser Dominick and I in our RACE to stop hunger! 100% of the proceeds go directly to the organization :)

To read more about this TURKEY TROT, click here.

To donate and support us, hit THIS puppy!

Goodnight...and a HAPPY HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL!!!!

PEACE & A FULL BELLY!!!!!!!!!

By the "Grace" of GOOD people...

2008-11-21T09:11:00.005-05:00

So, I owe my search and reunion process to LOTS of very special people. I am not sure how to express gratitude to all those who have helped me throughout this grueling but beautiful procedure.

I suppose first thanks goes to my mom and dad. Thanks for supporting me in my determined search for self. Although it took a few years to squeeze my adoption papers outta you two, I am so appreciative you passed them over. Thanks for helping me with my trip, thanks for helping to care for Dominick while we are away...thanks for being my mom and dad. I love you guys and will forever be your little girl.

Second, I owe a HUGE thanks to my Chilean friends that assisted in HUNTING down my biological mama! THANK YOU Gabriella and Natalia. I don't think any of this would have been possible without either of you. I won't ever be sure what made you respond to a strangers request for help BUT I am deeply gracious for that compelling force.

Third, to GRACE & ARNOLD. By the "Grace" of Arnold- I am returning home. I really don't think words explain a story like this. I really don't think words explain HUMANS like these two. I'll give it a shot...

Grace works with me on occaision and after getting to know me, we began discussing more personal issues with one another when my adoption story came to topic. Grace was touched and interested. She is genuine and asked questions...she seemed to really care. She went home and shared the information with her heroic husband, Arnold.

Mr. Arnold, without hesitation said he was sending me home to Chile....his wife reported the news to me at work one day. "WHAT?!? ARE YOU SERIOUS?!? WHY ME?!"...I cried as Grace told me of her husbands offer. We both cried. We embraced. My body was quivering, overwhelmed with emotion.

Mr. Duke doesn't respond to my emails. I spoke to him to thank him, to which he simply replied- "giving is better than receiving, I can't wait to see pictures"...do people like you really exist, Mr. Duke? Yes...they do. And YOU are living proof.

Mr. Duke is energetic! You can see it in his pictures...his spirit SHINES BRIGHT through a photographic lense. I can only imagine the energy he gives off in person. I can't wait to come back from my trip and meet Arnold. I can't wait to share ALL my pictures and stories with him.

Grace is just as beautiful inside as she is on her outter shell. She is laid back, always smiling, and a natural nurturer. She is a hard working, devoted mother. She is strong but sensitive. She is pretty, energetic and AWESOME. She is a good listener, a sweet, sweeeet soul. Grace is graceful and GREAT.

Grace and Arnold are pictured below :)

And here is Grace...under a rainbow :)

And finally, I owe a HUGE thanks to everyone that has been supporting me and everyone who continuously supports me in every aspect of my life. My old friends, my new friends, my family, my in-laws....EVERYONE. You all know who you are :)

MUCHAS GRACIAS! ( MUCH THANKS )...

PEACE!

Returning to the SARRIA'S....

2008-11-12T17:46:00.008-05:00

UNO MES!!! aka...ONE MORE MONTH!!!!!

In only one month I return HOME to Chile. I cannot wait! My excitement level is HIGHLY elevated. I am so excited to return to the SARRIA family that I left sooooo long ago. TOO long ago. This adventure is well over due.

My parents have taken me all over the world. I have been so fortunate to travel to incredible places during my young life thus far BUT I honestly have always wondered why they never took me back to Chile? Just to SEE it...the same way they felt it was so important for me to SEE Israel, I feel like I always wanted them to take me to SEE Chile. It is part of my history too and I love Chile just like I love Israel.

My return home to LA FAMILIA SARRIA is thanks to two very special friends of mine. I will devote an ENTIRE post to them but I couldn't mention going home without saying a SPECIAL THANKS to Mr. Duke and Grace :)

When I walk off the plane...only one month from now- I will be greeted by my whole family! What a scene it will be! And you can be assurred I will post pictures as soon as I get my computer set up in my hotel :)

My family history is strange in Chile. Although everyone will be gathering for my arrival- they don't all have the best relationships with one another. My mom does not have any relationship with my oldest sister. My Aunt took my older sister in years ago when my mom and sister had their "falling out." My Aunt sided with my sister in the drama and she too, became quite distant from my mother.

My Aunt's family is pictured (in her home) below...starting from the left...my cousin older GONZALO...my little cousin SINAID...MY TIO GRUNON, EFRAIN (my grumpy uncle, Efrain)...my Aunt GLADYS (my mothers sister)...my cousin EMMA aka EMITHAX!...my brother-in-law, ISAIS...and his beautiful wife- my big sister, SCARLETT...

And below are LAS MUJERES SARRIA...the Sarria women...minus my mom and my little sister. Again starting from the left...my Aunt Gladys...my cousin Emma...my sister Scarlett...and my little cousin Sinaid.

(ISAIS likes attention and felt the need to pop his head in the background of this photo).

I am excited to see all my family of course but I am especially excited to see my big sister. Sometimes people just "click"...well my sister and I, we "click." Because of the problems she has with my mother, we were not able to communicate for the first few years I knew my mother. With my trip fast approaching my mom has given Scarlett my phone number and email address and we have been in constant contact with one another.

My BEAUTIFUL sister is pictured below. I love her VERY much and I miss her every hour of every day.

My sister recently got married :) Below she is pictured on her wedding day...my mom was not invited to my sisters wedding which I feel is rather unfortunate. Luckily my cousins were all there and they took plenty of pictures to send me...I can't wait to meet my sister and brother-in-law!!!!

My mom also has a brother. He has THREE little children...two of them are pictured with my mother below. Starting at left...my cousin CATALINA...my mom :)....and my baby cousin RICARDO aka Ricardito (little ricardo in spanish).

I feel a little guilty posting this entry without pictures of ALL my family members but I can't seem to find the disk with pictures of my moms husband, Erik...my little sister, Silvia...my uncle, Jorge...and his wife, my aunt Maria.

I am also sad to say that I have never seen pictures of two of my younger siblings and I will not meet them when I go to Chile. My brother, Gabriel and my sister, Katy live with their father. My mom has yet to tell me the whole story of their lives BUT she has not seen or spoken to them in years. They are in the custody of their father and are not allowed to have contact with my mother. It is very unfortunate and very sad. My mother struggles with the fact that she does not see or speak to them, and to some extent- I think they have probably struggled as well. Who knows? I just know I have not forgotten about them...they are my siblings and although I do not know them- I think of them, quite often.

I will be back to post those pictures of my other family members as soon as I find them! I also want to share the VERY special story of the VERY special people that are sending me on this journey...so stay tuned for that.

That is all for now...I wish you all a good one.

PEACE!!!!!!!!!

HOPE for Young Mothers...

2008-11-10T00:58:00.004-05:00

i posted this on my "facebook" earlier in the week...it has gotten a lot of comments and attention on there so i figured i would post it on here. hope you enjoy it...just a different way of looking at things within this election and how this moment, personally continues to change my life :)

...I don't think I will ever forget all the critism that swarmed my life when I announced my pregnancy to my family and friends. As I stepped into the roll of a "teenage mom," people didn't have many nice things to say.

My own mother disowned me for a 5 month time period. Some of my "best friends" told me I was not equipped to be a parent and stopped being my "friend." My own doctor told me that the baby may do better if he were raised in a more "stable home." Meaning a home without an 18 year old mom like myself. And God love my mother-in-law who never failed to remind me that I was "a baby having a baby." (Now that's despite the fact that SHE was even younger than I when HER first baby debuted into this world). Well, whatever- that's besides the point.

The point is that the scrutiny that surrounds teenage mothers is just disgusting to me...honestly. WHO HAS THE RIGHT TO JUDGE A MOTHER JUST BECAUSE SHE IS YOUNGER THAN THE "AVERAGE" MOM?

Nobody...now.

PRESIDENT ELECT BARACK OBAMA WAS BORN TO A "TEENAGE MOTHER." Does anybody have any critism for the way in which she raised her son? She became a mommy to Baby Barack at age 18. Was she not "equipped" to be a parent to her child? Perhaps things were going to be more difficult for her (especially during that time period) but did that mean she COULDN'T do it?

In the public eye, you hear so much about what this election means to everybody. I haven't heard anything about what this election means to the young mothers out there that are told they "can't be good mothers" etc. That's still an issue of the private eye. An issue that many people have not even thought to look at.

So check things out from a different view. You will see even more reason as to why this election is so historic. Pull this quiet issue out into the public. Don't be shy to mention the HOPE Obama brings to teenage mothers around this nation. It doesn't mean promoting high school girls to go out and make babies but reassuring those already in this situation that they CAN be great mothers if they work hard. They CAN love and encourage their children to do whatever they set their minds to.

To my few "teenage mommy" friends...our kids have grown SO much but I have soooo much respect for you guys for making the choices you made, sticking in there and handling business- no matter how difficult it has been.

Shot out to Jamie Lynn Spizzzearsss and Big Bristol Palin...people really need to stop talking so terribly about those girls. They have it hard enough already...leave em alone!

To Barack Obamas Mom...wherever she may be- THANKS for believing in yourself at such a young age. YOUR dream helped to make a dream come true to so many American people.

May the torch of HOPE continue burning for generations to come.

PEACE.

ANDDDD as an addition to this i would like to add a link in which you can read more about Barack Obamas mom...specific details about her life, mistakes she made, things she overcame, and pictures. Just click the link below...

http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1729524,00.html

ENJOY! GOODNIGHT! AND THANKS FOR READING :)

Te Gusta?

2008-11-05T22:24:00.003-05:00

Do you want to FETCH a shirt like this?!?! It reads...

"Rosa sat so Martin could walk. Martin walked so Obama could run. Obama is running so our children can fly."

Pretty freakin' DEEP if I may say so myself but what does everyone else think? If you like this shirt and want to FETCH one...just visit the link below, duhhhh! (They have many variations as well).

http://www.zazzle.com/rosa_martin_obama_shirt-235997350696184509

OOOOOK....that is all the election stuff I will be posting- I think?!?! I will return to adoption stories one day soon but for now, I am off to relax by watching the WASHINGTON WIZARDS play basketball in overtime!!!!! YIKES!!!! Another VICTORY?!?! Perhaps NOT...oh well! You just cannot win them all :)

GOODNIGHT...

TASTE THE CHANGE!!!!

2008-11-05T20:37:00.004-05:00

WELL, I had taken a break from blogging for a week or so...to be honest sometimes it gets difficult to continue opening yourself up- some days I just want to wrap up the wounds without talking about them or addressing them. I hope any readers I may have can understand this.

With a new 44th President of THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA- I decided I would come on here and post a few thoughts about how this election has personally changed my life.

All my life I have been considered white because I was adopted by a white family. Although I was occasionally teased in Hebrew school for looking "different", I did not really get discriminated against as a child.

My parents had literally CHANGED my identity when I became their baby and I was viewed as white. My father still argues with me to this VERY day that I AM WHITE.

The ONLY time my parents have really recognized my hispanic background was when I was trying to transfer schools when I was 15 years old. At that point, it all of a sudden became "okay" to refer to me as "latina"...for a BRIEF moment until the transfer was complete.

Now I am a grown up. I am a "big girl and have a voice of my own" as my psychiatrist often tells me. So with that being said, in my adult life I have begun to develop my OWN character and sense of being.

I AM HISPANIC and NOBODY will continue to convince me or TRY to convince me otherwise. I am actually angry with my father for the harsh critisism he continuously throws at my life. Especially the fact that he tells me that "I will always only be seen as white in his eyes" OR the fact that he refers to the first time he met my husband as "look who came to dinner." My husband is black. Perhaps I have yet to mention that. Well whatever. You get the idea?

The point of this story is that last I heard, 69% of the Hispanic vote went to Barack Obama and Hispanics had a HUGE impact on this election. "Look who came to...be our next President" :) Please check the link below for a short article on hispanic voters....

http://www.newsweek.com/id/167746

I AM REGISTERED in the State of Maryland as ONE of the Hispanic voters. I am now old enough to register my OWN ethnicity without my father (or mother) speaking for me. It feels SOOOOOO good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My voice is being heard!!!! I LOVED seeing my ethnicity marked as HISPANIC when I casted MY ballot. I LOVE the fact that THAT part of ME got statistically recorded. I sit and cheer at my television when I hear them talk about the overwhelming turn-out of the YOUNG HISPANIC VOTERS!!!!!!!!! I cheer because I AM ONE OF THE YOUNG HISPANIC VOTERS ;) I am screaming "VIVA CHILE" louder and harder then ever before.

I LOVE AMERICA- please do not misunderstand that BUT I will never forget where I came from...

I am PROUD to be a HISPANIC JEWISH AMERICAN and I am so PROUD to have voted in this election.

And finally, I am SO PROUD to post the letter that was given to me in March of 1985...marking my citizenship in this country....

UNITED STATES SENATE

March 2, 1985

Dear Rachel:

As a member of the United States Senate from the State of Maryland, I want to congratulate you on becoming an American citizen. Both of my parents were immigrants to this country and became American citizens so I believe I have an understanding of what your new citizenship means to you.

One of the greatest strengths of this nation is the splendid contribution which has been made by those born in other countries. I am certain you will continue that fine tradition and help to make the United States a better home for all her people.

I hope you will let me know your views from time to time on issues pending before Congress. You have my very best wishes for a happy and rewarding life in the years ahead. With best regards....

Sincerely,

Paul S. Sarbanes

United States Senator

This letter has never felt so important to me. Touching it, reading it, talking about it- brings tears of joy to my eyeballs. THANK YOU MOM, for saving it for me...it is a posession I am really happy to have :)

GOD BLESS AMERICA. GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU- no matter which way you voted. VIVA CHILE!!!!!!!!!! And to all a FINE NIGHT!!!!

Adios! PEACE! Chaooooo!

Becoming Cooper...

2008-10-25T23:30:00.009-04:00

22 years before the picture below was taken, my paternal grandmother traveled with her son to pick up his new baby. My dad had received a phone call that a baby girl was available in Chile...my mother was not home at the time. From what I understand it was a "need an answer right now" type situation and naturally my excited dad (without much thinking) said YES!

There was not much time before I came to my new country, my new family, my new home! So my brother and mom stayed home and awaited my arrival while my grandma and my dad came to fetch me.

My grandma Cooper was the first woman in my new family to hold me :) This is always a bond that I have always treasured with my dear grams...Pictured below are Aaron, Myself, Grandma Cooper and Grandpa Cooper- may he REST IN PEACE :(

After I arrived home the whole court adoption process started. Apparently you do all the home studies, get approved, organize lawyers in BOTH countries, pick up your baby and THEN petition to the courts. The whole thing seems odd to me to be honest. I wonder if they consider the interest of the baby if the judge were to deny the petition? Take the baby from the original family, send it off with a prospective adoptive family- "hoping for the best"...but what if "the best" does not happen? What a devistating loss for the prospective parents and yet ANOTHER loss for the innocent infant.

ANYWAYS....here is how I came about! Below, I have posted my adoption petition...to officially become Rachel Cooper....

Petition For Adoption

To The Honorable, The Judges of Said Court:

Comes now your petitioners, Rebecca S. Cooper and Gary D. Cooper, by and through their attorney, Leslie Scott Auerbach, and respectfully represents unto this Honorable Court as follows:

1. That your petitioners reside at....(Address in which I am not posting).

2. That your petitioner Gary D. Cooper is an adult, white male, and is currently employed as an executive for his own corportation.

3. That your petitioner Rebecca S. Cooper is an adult, white female, and is not eomployed.

4. That your petitioners were married on (Date in which I am not posting).

5. That your petitioners have one other child, Aaron, who was adopted by the parties and finalized in 1981.

6. That the adoptee herein is a female infant, born July 2, 1983 in Chile (South America). The biological mother of the adoptee voluntarily consented to the guardianship and adoption of the adoptee by your petitioners by personally appearing in the Second Court of Minors on July 18, 1983.

7. The adoptee had been placed with foster parents since the adoptees birth and until the adoptee was placed in the care and custody of your petitioners, which occurred on August 1, 1983.

8. The name and location of the biological father is unknown, the adoptee being the product of rape.

9. That the petitioners were awarded temporary guardianship if the adoptee by the Second Court of Minors in Santiago on the 22nd of July 1983. The petitioners are finacially able and willing to provide for the support, welfare, and education of the said adoptee. They are of good moral character and are qualified persons to have the care, custody and control of the said adoptee, and the petitioners further desire to adopt the said adoptee as their own child, to make the child their heir at law, and to have conferred upon the said adoptee the same status as if she had been born unto the said petitioners.

Wherefore, your petitioners pray:

1. That the petition be granted and a decree be issued establishing the adoption of the said adoptee by your petitioners Gary D. Cooper and Rebecca S. Cooper, and making her their child. The same as if she had been born unto them.

2. That the adoptees name be changed to Rachel Ellen Cooper.

3. And for such other and further relief as to which this Court may seem fit and just.

Everything was signed and approved. And then I became the second little established Cooper. My parents had two children of their own...and we grew! and we GREW! and we GREW!

Aaron and I were both converted to Judiasm as infants. We were both BLESSED to have traveled to Israel twice in our lives thus far....Below we are pictured standing infront of the Western Wall in Israel. I was 8 in this picture and Aaron was 11 :)

We were both Bar and Bat Mitzvah'd at the age of 13...For those of your who aren't familiar with the Jewish religion, A Bar Mitzvah is the Jewish right of passage into adulthood. (BAT Mitzvah is for women, while the BAR Mitzvah is for men)....Pictured below is me reading from the torah, at my Bat Mitzvah...age 13 :)

And then the "COOPERS" split up. Our parents divorced when I was 15 and Aaron was 18. BLAHHHHH.

My dad remarried and there became a new "Mrs. Cooper." I didn't really like that at all but what was I to do. Nothing but TRY to embrace my new family that came with my fathers new wife.

My husband, son, fathers wife, myself and my dad are pictured below.

My mom changed her name...back to her maiden name. I HATED the fact that she had a different last name then me. I did not like the separation of our family in the first place but the different last name thing REALLY threw me off guard...it made us REALLY seperate :(

Luckily, my mom found herself in a happy relationship years later :) My mom, brother and my moms boyfriend are pictured below...

I will be back soon to talk about "Returning Sarria"...which is almost as odd as "Becoming Cooper."

I used to think I needed all the answers...I used to think people owed me some type of explanation. I have come to LEARN that all of that is not my problem. I have come to a place where my parents history is just that...their HISTORY--- long gone.

Despite any abnormalties, THIS is my life. THIS is what I have grown to somewhat understand. Although I am NOT alright with my families disconnections and imperfections, after 10 long years I am proud to say we can all sit connected together around a dinner table...putting aside the breaks between us.

Espero que duerma bien = I hope that you sleep well :)

And to you all...A GOODNIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

To Dominick...

2008-10-22T02:14:00.009-04:00

I have mentioned my son briefly in previous messages. But with my trip fast approaching I feel the need to talk about him more.

Dominick will not be making the trip to Chile with me. My husband and I have decided that he does not really need to be subjected to the uncertainty of emotions that may be experienced on this journey. He will be 6 years old at the time of my travel. I don't feel it is "age appropriate" right now to bring him BUT I look forward to having him come with me on future visits.

Anyways, I have had thoughts racing through my head...what if something happens to me while I am away? I hate flying and am terrified of a plane crash...well, what if my plane crashed?!?! Am I being a bad mom to take this experience for myself? Ughhh, I can't even begin to explain the concerns I have about leaving my little boy at home...DESPITE the fact I know he will be well cared for by my mother :)

Meet my son...this is Dominick as an infant...FRESH out the womb!!!!

And below is Dominick with my husband at only ONE day old! He was so alert, even as just a little guy...

And finally, I am going to post what I wrote for Dominick today while my thoughts of my and my love for him were racing through my mind all day long.

I decided to call this "Years Gone By"...

Because one day you will read this...

I remember the first day I found out about you. You were a surprise, the most pleasant surprise I have ever received.

I remember watching you grow through the eyes of medical technology. I loved hearing your little heart BEAT...I loved watching you on screen in the doc's office.

You were such a STAR- always showing off and flashing the fact that you were a male to the camera...or perhaps I should say sonogram machine.

I remember watching my belly roll around as you moved so tightly inside. I HATED how everyone always felt a need to give your little domain a "pat" but I poked at you ALL DAY LONG...just so I could see you squirm :)

And there began our relationship. You would kick me in the rib, and I would poke you in your little gut...or whatever part of your body it was. We played like this for a few months.

You grew to the point that I could no longer fit in my desk at school. Your kicking got to the point that it was painful...but I still poked you back- softly.And then you were born.

On Friday the 13th...and your enterance was just as frightening as the day itself. After 13 hours of labor and pushing, you managed to tangle yourself in your annoying umbillical chord. I was forced to get an epidural and birth you via c-section. I didn't like being sliced opened or being num from my neck down BUT once I heard you screaming...nothing even mattered.

And so began our lives together...out in the open- out in public. You weren't hidden under my clothes, you were no longer a "bump." You became visible. Not only to me but to the world.

You were handsome. You were beautiful. You were my baby.

I LOVED the way your eyes would light up as I nursed you. I loved the fact that your only food source was ME. I loved crying because my breasts hurt SO bad. I loved fighting through my pain and your frustration together. I loved it when our nursing routine became "routine."

I remember how you would cuddle close to my heart. I LOVED your toothless little grins. I remember how you always would kick your feet at the sound of my voice. I loved every inch of you. I loved every minute spent with you.

I remember your first birthday. You came walking down the hall. I had never seen you walk before...you were so proud of yourself. Your toothless grin had turned to a 4 tooth smile. You were so darn precious.

I remember the days when we counted your age by weeks. I remember the first time I said, "he's 18 months." It sounded so old. I cut you off from nursing...our relationship changed, and although you didn't depend on me for food, I loved you even more.

I remember watching you walk to restaurants for lunch dates with my friends. You were always so happy. I remember how hard it was to watch you cry the first time you fell down on the sidewalk.

You never drank from a bottle, never wore "pull-ups" and you never went pee sitting down. Thanks to your twin cousins, and your Aunt Kira's investment in your potty, you were potty trained by age two.

And then you started school. You wore a uniform everyday. You LOVED the montessori program...and the montessori program loved you. You learned so much. You had blossomed beyond my belief, reading and writing after only 2 years in the program.

I remember your first picture. I remember your first project. I remember that you drew make believe siblings for yourself in EVERY single picture you created.

I love your imagination. I love your sense of self.

You are about to turn 6. You have been a dream come true. You saved my life from darkness as I made vows to myself the day you were born.

You challenge me to be more than a better mother but to be a better HUMAN...to have compassion for ALL people because everyone has a mother, somewhere, that loves them just as much as I love you.

You have transformed from my little peanut, into my Big D-Rock. I love the way you argue with me and I love the way you look in your REDSKINS jersey.

I love the jokes you tell and I love the way you call me "Babe."

I love explaining things to you. You listen so cautiously to everyone and everything. You ask so many questions.

I love how you are so inquisitive.

I love YOUR love for others.

Recently you questioned about illness and death. I explained that medicine does not have a cure for everything. I LOVED THE WAY YOU ASKED ME, "Hey babe- why does it have to be like that?...it does not seem fair."

At only 5 years old, I love YOUR vision to want better for the world. I love the way we pick children to sponsor together. I love the fact that you ASK to give up a Hanukah gift so we can repair the cleft pallet of a child less fortunate.

I love that you see past just yourself.

The years have gone by and I just continue to love you more and more each day. I love you so bad it hurts. I am scared of not being with you. We have always been so "together."

But one day you will read this. One day you will remember all our memories and the first time I really traveled without you. It will be nothing but just another memory.

I am so looking forward to the rest of our lives together. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you.

You bring smiles to the saddest days and you shine light on all dark voids that exist within my life. I am appreciative for the memories we have created and the ones we have yet to create. I love you with all my heart, soul, and of course-- with all the gushy guts in between :)

Ohhhhhhh Dominick...Mommy loves you more than you will ever know!!!!!

Mi angelito...mi vida..mi hijo = My angel...my life...my son :)

Buenos Noches Y Cuidese!!!! (Goodnight and take care).

A Note From Aron...

2008-10-21T20:23:00.005-04:00

Meet my brother Aaron...for all intensive purposes we shall call him "Aron" !!! And it is also ok to yell out..."ARON, ARON, VENGA, VENGA"...when you want to call for him to come.

My brother is a MASSIVE pillar in my life. He has been the ONE stable thing in my world and for adoptive children, stability is crucial.

With no further to do...here is ARON! He is pictured below...

Aron just recently returned from Costa Rica. He spent 3 weeks there studying and learning to speak Spanish. My brother is a NYU grad. student pursuing a Masters Degree of Social Work. I have no doubt in my mind that my brother will make an incredible social worker. He is almost a year and a half into his program and doing great. I couldn't be more proud and excited...my brother is the most unique and caring individual I have ever met in my life.

While studying in Costa Rica, my brother learned a lot. Pictured below, you can see my brother interacting with some children but the program he was a part of was more about learning things himself...

My brother learned a whole bunch of stuff in Costa Rica, all of which I was eager to hear about. But there has been one thing that has really caught my eye.

Aron learned about the Hauge Convention. He taught me about it and I think you all should learn a little bit about it too! Check out the link below to find out more about how the Hauge protects intercountry adoptive children.

http://www.hcch.net/index_en.php?act=conventions.text&cid=69&zoek=adoption

ALSO!!! My brother wrote a fantastic paper on the hauge and its details. I have posted the paper (with my brothers permission) below.

A Note from Aron

The Hague Convention on Protection of Children and Co-Operation in Respect of Intercountry Adoption, to which the United States became a party on April 1, 2008, is a powerful international policy that has had rattling effects on all parties involved in international adoption. The convention endeavors to consolidate international policies, creating standards and accountability. This is not a small undertaking considering the involvement of over 70 countries. Additionally, the underlying issue of children needing care draws an emotional tie the convention, that is not conflict free. In this paper I will examine how and why the convention was created and outline its goals. Using several case studies from different countries I will also highlight some effects, negative and positive, of the Hague convention, on children, families and countries.
The Hague convention on intercountry adoption is one of over 30 conventions the Hague Conference on Private International Law has adopted (www.hcch.net). Other conventions adopted by the Hague Conference include the Conventions on the protection of minors and the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction (www.hcch.net). The Hague Conference first convened in the Netherlands in 1893, aiming to “work for the progressive unification of the rules of private international law” (www.hcch.net). To achieve this goal, the conference negotiates and drafts multilateral treaties or conventions. Hague has established and maintains relationships with other international organizations, including the United Nations, UNICEF and the Committee on the Rights of the Child (www.hcch.net). These associations solidify the Hague Conference as an encompassing international group.
How do counties become involved with the Hague Conference? According to the Hague website, “States which have already participated in one or more of the earlier Sessions of the Conference may become Members of the Hague Conference by accepting its Statute. Other States must be admitted by vote,” a right executed by a majority of Member States (www.hcch.net). According to these rules, a state (country) can follow or be affected by a Hague Convention, but not be a Member of the Conference. India, for example, has participated in Hague Conventions, including Intercountry Adoption, for decades but only became a Member of the Conference in 2008 (www.hcch.net). While Hague seemingly aims to achieve cohesion, there is inevitable confusion and lack of conformity or universal participation by many countries. Still, as is the case with the Convention on Intercountry Adoption, Hague treaties affect these countries.
Beginning after World War II and up through the 1970’s, there was an international adoption boom, brining international babies into the U.S. (Summerhill, 2008). It wasn’t until 1993 that Hague responded to the international complexities and human and legal problems that this boom created. According to the Outline of the Intercountry Adoption, the 1993 Convention aims to make, “the rights and interests of the child paramount and to respect and protect the rights of the families of origin and adoptive families.” The “best interests of the child” is listed first in the principal features of the Convention. Furthermore, the Convention describes the “Subsidiary Principle”. This principle sates that a child “should be raised by his or her birth family or extended family whenever possible” (www.hcch.net). This idea, while it may have the child’s best interest at heart, may impede the adoption process, leaving children in institutional care. Or, it may prevent willing and suitable parents from adopting children in need.
Another operative of the Convention is to promote “Co-operation between States and within States” (www.hcch.net). This aspect of functioning is easier said than done for many states. States that already have the private sector involved in intercountry adoption may have complex bureaucratic systems already in place. Existing political or social relationships between states might also interfere with co-operation on an international agreement. If a relationship between two states changes, it affects other relationships involved in the Convention.
The Hague Convention also calls for “competent central authorities and accredited bodies” (www.hcch.net). While this aspect of Hague creates standards and accountability, is not an easy switch to implement. Confusion has been created with changing policies that are far more complex than older standards. Also, many agencies have had to face overhauls to comply with Hague standards.
The Hague Conference seems like a suitable agency, with its multi-lateral approach, to handle and effectively regulate intercountry adoption. However, different countries have different strengths and weaknesses. Developing countries have different needs and resources than established countries, yet they all must comply with a single convention and Hague places a heavy burden of responsibility on the states. Hague did consider this issue of diversity by implementing The Intercountry Adoption Technical Assistance Programme, which employs international consultants and experts dedicated to needy states. But what other needs, economic and social, do states in developing countries have, that Hague had not addressed? With the U.S. only fully adopting the current Convention in 2008, only time will reveal how effective Hague really is at unifying international policy and addressing individual countries needs.
To understand what intercountry adoption was like prior to Hague, I examined an article from Business Week, When It Come to Adoption, It’s a Wide, Wide World, published in 1988. The author, Suzanne Woolley describes concerns that are indicative of how different intercountry adoption was before it was regulated by Hague, “Rather than wait years for a U.S born infant parents are looking overseas…many adoptive parents can get babies a year after applying, less than half the average wait for a U.S. born baby.” Woolley also gives prospective parents a heads up that in some countries orphanages may “ask that you bring gifts, ranging from cloths to microwaves when you pick up your child.” Under current Hague regulations, both of these aspects of intercountry adoption are completely different. Intercountry adoption can take several years to complete with waitlists and much complex paperwork involved. Today, the presentation of gifts during the adoption process may be seen as payment or even coercion, both documented corrupt practices that Hague fights against.
So what is intercountry adoption like today, under brand new Hague regulations? In an article published in the New York Times in June, Mireya Navarro notes that experts have described the process as, “tortuous to pursue.” Navarro documents the process through the experience of the Casserlys, a family from Minnesota waiting to adopt a girl from Guatemala. Julie Casserly explains that her first adoption, in 2005, was easier than the current one, “this time it is a matter of ‘if’ not ‘when’.” Navarro lists child trafficking scandals and Hague as the reasons why countries such as China, Russia and South Korea are turning toward domestic adoptions instead, making international adoptions harder to complete for couples like the Casserlys. Guatemala is an extreme example of this difficulty in complying with standards. Although Guatemala signed the Convention treaty, they have not yet established federal control of adoption leading to a temporary moratorium on adoptions (Summerhill, 2008). Navarro also reports on another family from Minnesota who has been trying to adopt a Vietnamese child for 2 “gut wrenching” years. Vietnam stopped accepting adoption applications in 2008 after an investigation by the American embassy found that poor birth parents had been paid or deceived into placing their children in an orphanage (Navarro, 2008). The media is another hurdle, not related to Hague, that prospective adoptive parents face. Publicity surrounding celebrities like Madonna, who did not go through the proper process, leave people assuming that Americans are coming in and taking kids from their parents (Navarro, 2008). Because the Casserly's began the adoption process 11 months ago, prior to the U.S. implementation of the Hague Convention, it should theoretically not affect them. Nevertheless they fear the fate of the girl they wish to adopt if the process continues to be delayed or does is not completed.
Similar complications are described by Kirk Semple in, A World Away, New Rules Put an Adoption on Hold, published by the New York Times in 2008. Semple reports on the miraculous case of a Latvian immigrant, Ilze Earner, to the U.S. who was contacted by a social worker in 2005 and informed that a baby had been abandoned in Latvia who was linked to the immigrants U.S. phone number. The abandoned child was Earner’s 3rd cousin. Earner, an assistant professor at Hunter, decided to adopt the child, who is now 5 years old. Earner complied with all international adoption regulations current at the time. However, when she traveled to Latvia with her family to retrieve her adopted cousin, she was denied by American consular officials who told her that international adoption regulations had changed that that she would have to return to the U.S. to restart the process (Semple, 2008). The Earners were unaware of the changes and had not filed a document before April 1, 2008 that would have allowed them to adopt under old regulations. Semple deems the Hague Convention as the “crux of the Earner’s problem.” Only after much press coverage of the story and the Earner’s own lobbying to the Latvian and American governments, were they granted an expedited adoption (Semple, 2008). At the end of the article, a spokesman for the immigration agency admits, “Given the complexity of immigration law… policies are not simple, the omission of one piece of information can result in the wrong answer.” Since the ordeal, the Earner’s have switched to al licensed adoption agency, leaving a social worker they had originally contracted (Semple, 2008).
In, Doors closing on foreign adoptions; As China pulls back, families look to countries such as Vietnam and Ethiopia, published in the Toronto Star in 2008, Leslie Scrivener documents Chinas tightening adoption policies and the resulting effects on other countries. In the past China had a “golden standard” of adoption because of how it expedited healthy children through the adoptions process (Scrivener, 2008). The wait in Canada to adopt a baby from China has increased from approximately one year to between five and seven years (Scrivener, 2008). The effect this has is felt in countries like Vietnam, Ethiopia and South Africa, where international adoption has increased. Scrivener blames partially attributes this change to “increased compliance with the Hague Convention and its slew of mandated documentation… a burden in impoverished countries.” This phenomenon reflects how a powerful nation, like China, that has the ability to change their policies to suit their changing needs, effects other countries that may or may not be able to cope easily becoming intercountry adoption hot beds.
Ethiopia is an example of a country experiencing backlash due to an increase in adoptions. Jane Gross reports on Ethiopia’s current adoption system in, Surge in Adoptions Raises Concern in Ethiopia, published in the New York Times in 2007. Since 2000, Ethiopia has moved from 16th to 5th place in number of adoptions by Americans (Gross, 2007). Due to this popularity there has been an influx of new agencies to in Ethiopia to facilitate the growing number of adoptions. Gross quotes the Ministry of Women’s Affairs, which oversees adoption, as saying, “We don’t have the capacity to handle all these new agencies, and we have to monitor the quality, not just quantity.” The head of child protection at Unicef in Ethiopia has also voiced his concern with the growing number of private companies that are not properly regulated by the government (Gross, 2007). While Ethiopia may be a popular and effective alternative to countries that have tightened their adoption regulations, will they be able to maintain Hague standards amidst an international adoption surge?
The Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption is clearly well intentioned. As an organization, the Hague Conference has a history of experience with multi-lateral projects to protect human and specifically children’s rights. But is the Convention prepared to deal with potential bureaucratic pitfalls? How can such a large-scale endeavor cater to the needs of its many diverse constituents? How will the differing economic and political powers of the states involved in Hague balance out? In order to protect children and put their best interests first, Hague must face these questions and be prepared to modify if necessary. If there is too much red tape exists, even if it’s due to tightening procedures, perhaps children’s interests will be compromised. If a child’s adoption is put on hold and they spend time institutionalized, are their interests being met? I believe the Hague Convention is a very important step in combating atrocities like child trafficking. But the Conference must be prepared, and perhaps they are, to deal with the many effects of such a large and ambitious international policy.

Sources

Conners, W. & Gross, J. (2007, June 4). Surge in Adoptions Raises Concern in Ethiopia.
The New York Times.

The Hague Conference on Private International Law (2008). Outline of the Convention.
Retrieved on September 20, 2008, from www.hcch.net

The Hague Conference on Private International Law (2008). What is the Hague
Conference on Private International Law? Retrieved on September 20, 2008, from www.hcch.net

Navarro, M. (2008, June 5). To Adopt, Please Press Hold. The New York Times.

Semple, K. (2008, June 17). A World Away, New Rules Put an Adoption on Hold.
The New York Times.

Scrivener, L. (2008, September 13). Doors closing on foreign adoptions; As China pulls
back, families look to counties such as Vietnam and Ethiopia. The Toronto Star.

Summerhill, Laura (2008). Lecture, New York University.

Woolley, S (1988, June 20). When It Comes To Adoption, It’s A Wide, Wide World.
Business Week, p. 164

...thanks Aron. For the information and for being the best brother anyone could ever ask for :) And to all--- a goodnight! PEACE!!!!

Adoption Annoyances...

2008-10-19T22:47:00.005-04:00

In my life I have come across many things that annoy me about adoption. The private international adoption system does NOT give adoptees much information about their birth families. ANNOYING!

My parents were given a written report about my mothers "history." The report included NOTHING about my mothers REAL history - who my mother is as a person etc. No physical description of her, nothing about her medical history or her character in general. Just the fact that she was a stripper and that she got raped but it DID mention she had denied being involved in prostitution...because I am sure that was more important than whether or not cancer ran in my family.

The system ripped away ALL record of me being born to my mother. She has NO birth certificate of me. She has no hospital picture. She has nothing. Infact, when I called the "carabineros" or (Chilean Police) - they have record of my mother being an unwed mother of four. Four?!? Why only four when we are FIVE?!? THERE ARE FIVE OF US!!!!!

The system erased all public record of me being born to my mother when I entered the private adoption system. What makes the system think they can take that away from my mother and I ?!? It bothers me. Annoyes me! I want to see what time I was born at. I want to see the signed paper...with my mothers signature...and my little footprint.

For the last 25 years...my admission into this world has been questionable. When I go home- I plan to visit the office of vital statistics AND the hospital in which I was born, erased and then RECREATED. I want to see my original birth certificate...I want to see the beginning...the REAL beginning.

Which brings me to my second annoyance that I will talk about tonight. ***Sighhhh***....

I have a "fake" birth certificate. A certificate of "live birth" from the State Of Maryland Department of Health and Mental Hygiene. It says I was born July 2, 1983...to Rebecca and Gary Cooper. However, the DAY (of the week) is left blank and the hospital name and time of birth both say "------." Gee, I gotta be honest- that certainly has NOT helped me in my search to establish a sense of self. Well, whatever.

And finally, the last annoyance for now... the adoption advertisement! Yes, that is right- my mom and dad's first notification of me came via mail as a cute little pamphlet advertisement. (Insert: EXTREME sarcasm).

The pamphlet cover has a small baby hand grasping a womans hand. The womans hand has a wedding band on her ring finger. The pamphlet reads as follows:

"Dos ojitos que brillan...Una tierna y preciosa sonrisa...y una debil manito que se celga suavemente de tu dedo...es tu nuevo bebe. Es Maravilloso! Mil felicitaciones."

(Two little eyes that sparkle...A tender and precious smile...and a weak little hand that hangs softly to your finger...it is your new baby. It's Marvelous! Millions Congratulations.

Inside the pamphlet are two pictures of me. Stapled inside. And that was the introduction of me to my new family. A freakin pamphlet. One that probably all perspective adoptive parents received with photographs of their babies. I plan to soon scan and upload this standardized pamphlet that was mailed to my parents for you all to see.

In closing, I try to remember one thing...it is not about how I got here, it is about what I plan to do with myself now that I am here. One of those things being telling this story...ALL of this story. The good, the sad, the painful...and most importantly the TRUTH.

Wishing you all a goodnight, for now, DUERMA BIEN = sleep well :)

PEACE!!!

My American Mother...

2008-10-18T14:33:00.006-04:00

I was adopted as an infant. I came to this country in August 1983. I was only one month old. I entered a really loving and wonderful American, Jewish family...which brings me to the introduction of my American mother.

My mom was born in December of 1951 to the most loving couple you could ever meet. She is the oldest of two and both my mom and her little brother are still living.

My Bubbie (grandma in yiddish) is the heart and soul of my mothers family. She is so vibrant and incredible. Below is a picture of my Bubbie on her 82nd birthday...

As I mentioned my Bubbie gave birth to my mother in 1951. My mom was born to be a mother despite the fact she could not birth children from her body. Her love and patience are admirable...especially with children like my brother and myself. I have personally always had a hard time letting people really love me...or maybe I should say trusting that people love me. My moms love for me has been pretty trustworthy. There has only been one time in my life that I questioned it. Although at this present time in my life, I have absolutely no doubt that my mother loves me...a lot.

Meet my mother- isn't she so beautiful?

My mother is well educated. Before I was born she received a BA in education. She has been a teacher her whole life and LOVES working with children. My mom is GREAT at what she does. She has since went on to receive a Masters in elementary education- she says she wants to leave the classroom but the children NEED her!

Below are a few more pictures of me and my mom. In the first one, I love how you can see everyone sitting in the background...everyone except my mother! She is the one RIGHT behind me, keeping a close eye and protecting me.

And the last one...my mother and I on the beach. I love this picture because my mom once again is so close to me and loving me. Despite my sassy little attitude towards the camera.

My mom has always been so active in our lives. I have millions of pictures of my mom and I BUT I only had time to upload these few.

I am off to spend some time with my mom! We are taking my son to go see a play. I already saw my mom once today...she came to my sons football game this morning. We spend A LOT of time together- so much that my son once asked me, "do you and grandma have to see eachother all day every single day"?!?!

My answer: I dont have to...but I sure would like to :)

That's all for now...PEACE!!!

A Couple Quick Chile Facts...

2008-10-16T07:44:00.003-04:00

The sight of Santiago's skyline often brings tears to my eyes...I cannot express how many times I have flipped through random pictures of my homeland and cried histerically at my computer. Below is a picture of the BEAUTIFUL city of Santiago, which I call HOME...

The history of Chile is rather complicated. Although Chile declared her independence on September 18, 1810 ("Fiesta Patrias" = Independence Day) the country has rarely been considered stable.

In 1970 Salvador Allende came to power. After only 3 short years Dr. Allende was killed, his government was over-turned and his entire family was exhiled from the country.

In 1973 General Augusto Pinochet came to power with his right wing government. He ruled the country with military like principles and although he was liked by many- it is SAID he was an evil man, ruling the country with an unfair iron hand.

Since Pinochet lost power the country is said to have flourished. Chile is becoming one of the richest countires in South America as they have the appropriate climate, land, and geopgraphic location to be HUGE exporters in their region.

In January of 2006, Chile elected their FIRST female president :) Michelle Bachelet has been leading the Chilean government for the past two years. One of her main goals as President, is to close the gap between the wealthy and poor people of Chile. Below is a link to an article from when she was first elected...explaining some of her ideas and plans for the country.

http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/latin_america/jan-june06/chile_1-16.html

For more detailed information and OTHER interesting facts about Chile, please check out the link below...

http://travel.nationalgeographic.com/places/countries/country_chile.html

Before I went on to talk about my American mother, I figured it would be cool to post a few things relating to the homeland of my first mother...I hope you explore and enjoy the above links.

Be back later, until then-- PEACE and VIVA CHILE!!!!!!!

Mi Mama Chilena...

2008-10-15T17:14:00.010-04:00

I am going to start the introduction of my mothers with Mi Mama Chilena...or "My Chilean Mother"....because she is indeed my first mother.

Mi mama Chilena was born in May of 1963. 20 years before I was born in 1983. Mi mama was the youngest of 4 children...3 of them, my mother included, are still alive.

My mom was raised by her mother...her and her siblings did not have a male figure or father figure in the household. They were rather poor and lived a difficult life, to say the least. Mi Abuelita (my dear grandmother) is no longer living but she is pictured below and will always be the heart of my Chilean roots and family.

Mi mama completed only grades K - 5 in the Santiago school system. I am not very educated about the school system in Chile but from what I have heard from my Chilean family, it is not very good.

She began working at "un club nocturno" (which is the equivalent of a strip club here in the US) at a very young age. She needed to work as she had given birth to her first daughter when she was 18 years old. She was often placed in unsafe situations but she did her job and sent money home to help with the expenses of her oldest daughter.

When I initially opened my adoption paperwork in 2005, I read the story of how mi mama was leaving work late one night when she was attacked by 3 drunk men that had been in the club that evening. She was repeatedly raped by all 3 men as they used her body for SICK enjoyment.

At 19 years of age, the traumatic experience left my mother with nothing but fear for life in general and an embryo sprouting in her womb. Chile is a VERY Catholic country and my mom refused abortion opting to birth me, her second baby :)

Abuelita was NOT supportive of another baby...as mi mama was already an unwed mother to my older sister Scarlett. Mi mama felt as though she was forced into relinquishing me. She did not want to let me out of her arms despite the circumstances under which I was conceived. I truely believe her when she tells me this.

She made what was TOLD would be the "best decision"...to relinquish her rape baby to the adoption system. Mi mama found a social worker to assist in getting me the best care.

Below is a picture of mi mama with Telma. Mi mama is on the right and Telma is sitting on the left. Telma is the social worker that assisted with both my brothers and my adoptions 28 and 25 years ago...respectively.

When I first started the search for mi mama, I had to contact Telma to help me contact her. She did not have a working telephone line and my friends did not feel comfortable knocking on her door. Telma sent me these first two pictures of mi mama via email when I first reunited with my family...Mi mama HATES these pictures because she was crying and claims she looks ugly. In my eyes, she is the most beautiful thing.

Meet MI MAMA!!!! Maria Eugenia Sarria Diaz....

And of course, I could not end this entry without mentioning my sister Scarlett. Although she refers to Abuelita as her mother, she grew in the womb of "nos mama" ( OUR mother )...and when I left Chile 25 years ago, not only did I lose mi mama, but mi hermana mayor (my big sister) as well. In less than two months, two sisters will rejoin hands after 25 LONG years. I CAN'T WAIT!!!

Pictured below is my beautiful big sister sleeping peacefully....

And with that, I shall close out this entry. Wishing you all an evening as peaceful as my sisters slumber ;)

A Couple Cool Links...

2008-10-15T09:31:00.002-04:00

Hey! So it was suggested to me by my brother to post less about myself and more about other things relating to adoption etc. to help get people interested in my blog. I am new to this world of blogging and perhaps a little frightened by it BUT I am always looking for GOOD advice from those that I trust the most.

With that being said, I encourage you to check out these couple cool links :)

Troy Dunn aka "The Locator" has a new show that comes on WE TV on Saturday nights. He helps humans who have lost touch reunite with one another. I cry through the whole entire episode of course and I watch the marathons OVER & OVER again. He reunites mostly adopted adults with their biological parents or siblings BUT he also has reunited long lost friends. Really, Troy Dunn is just AWESOME! And I think you should check him out. Below are two links. One to his homepage and one to his blog :)

http://www.wetv.com/the-locator/

http://www.wetv.com/blogs/the-locator/index.html

ALSO!!! My dear American Mother, who has SO supported me throughout this "search, find, and finally reunite process" mailed me an article that she read in our local Washington Post Newspaper. It is about a woman who found her long lost siblings after being relinquished to the adoption system in Germany at the end of World War II.

OHHH I am soooo greatful that my mom ALWAYS thinks of me when she reads things like this....I LOVE YOU MOM :)

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/10/11/AR2008101101912.html

That's all for now but I will be back later to tell you a little bit about my mom's...both of them. My American Mother and Mi mama Chilena (my Chilean mother for those of you who don't speak Spanish).

PEACE :)

Rachel Staples...

2008-10-14T06:57:00.003-04:00

Some things everybody should know about me (As if this photo does not accurately describe me) :

* I am animated. You may not always understand the way in which I speak. Got questions? ASK.

* I am quiet but I love expressing myself...hence the reason I have a "blog"...

* I am shy until I am comfortable.

* I am LOUD! when I am not being shy ;)

* My excitement is often emphasized with CAPITAL LETTERS and exclamation points!!!!

* I satisfy my lonely soul with GOOD music.

* I like all GOOD music...from Robert Nesta Marley to Rick James :)

* I think musicians are geniouses...

* I think all humans have genious potential...just not all of them use it.

* I am a free spirit with a sensitive soul.

* I keep my distance from those who leak evil through their visual character.

* I am never mean, but you WILL know if you are one of the "distanced"...I shut down the once open emotional connection.

* I DO NOT TRUST PEOPLE EASILY.

* I LOSE TRUST EASILY.

* I have a hard time loving others with all my heart.

* ...and I have a hard time letting others love me.

* BUT!!! I will never lose the capacity to laugh at myself.

* I make myself laugh often.

* I MIGHT be my own best friend.

* I eat, sleep, and bleed Santiago, CHILE!!!!

* SOMETIMES I feel the need to randomly yell "VIVA CHILE"!!!!!

* I like to make my own sound affects...DING! PING! SEEP! NEEP! HEEE-HAWWW (just to name a FEW)!

* I am abnormally honest.

* I like honesty.

* I like to horse around. A LOT.

* I spent YEARS of my life addicted to BAD things. My son saved my life.

* I now see the world from a much more beautiful perspective.

* I like to say the word PONY for no reason. Emphasize the P!

* I could live off string cheese and triscuit wheat crackers.

* I will NEVER return to the dark world of poisons that once ruled my life.

* The birth of my son and the formulation of my family has SAVED MY LIFE.

* I LOVE MY FAMILY MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE IN THIS ENTIRE WORLD.

* I am normally always late. Which reminds me...I gotta get to work...!!!!

25 Years Ago...

2008-10-11T08:02:00.004-04:00

25 years ago I was relinquished to the private adoption system in Santiago, Chile. I was the product of a brutal rape, my mothers family was poor and not supportive of the pregnancy. This "forced" my mom to hand me over to the adoption system. I came to this country in 1983...my name was quickly stripped from me. Ninoska Andrea Sarria Diaz became Rachel Ellen Cooper. My native language and culture became as foreign to me as the soil from which I had come.

I had wondered about my roots since as early as I can remember. I am an inquisitive individual and remember asking frequent questions but receiving SHORT answers from my parents here in the U.S.

I have a brother who is also adopted from Chile. We are not biologically related BUT he is my "REAL" brother... (I am always disturbed when people question the "reality" of my sibling...OF COURSE HE IS MY REAL BROTHER but no, we are not biologically from the same gene pool).

My heart was lonely- for it missed the heart that it once was beating insync with. After birthing a child of my own and marrying, the desire to find my mother grew stronger than ever before. Although I knew an international search was going to be difficult- I set out on my journey, determined to find my mother that I had left behind years ago.

...I found her! My mother and I have been in contact for the last 3 years. We speak frequently and I have overcome the language barrier by learning to speak fluent spanish. I left behind 4 siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins. To have them back in my life is a feeling I cannot describe.

....25 years later I am going HOME. In 2 months I will finally reunite (in person) with the loved ones I left so long ago. I am scared, anxious, excited...probably a little bit of everything...but I am going HOME!!!!!!!!!!!

Welcome to my blog. Enjoy my journey.